15 I Hope This Place Burns to The Ground

Hello my lovelies,

This week's episode is LIT like a decorative menorah in a classy bay window. Hold tight.

First off in news: CORRUPTION in the neighborhood. Local condo peddler Two Trees Management Company has been overcharging its tenants at 125 Court St, all while reaping $10 million in tax benefits for offering affordable housing units. So, consider spitting on their sign next time you pass by.

In lighter news, the New York Times profiled the new Alt School on Hicks Street, otherwise known as the business on that corner that does not sell delicious pizza. Founded by a former Google exec, the 30-student institution spans from prekindergarten through the third grade and follows an untraditional "cycle of inquiry." Oh, and yearly tuition is $28,900 a year.

Meanwhile, a new $75 million offer on Pineapple Walk hints that the condo takeover is imminent. And Hillary Clinton's HQ gets its own meh Snapchat filter. 2/3 TRAINZ for LYFE.

The Yelp review of the week explores the benefits of our favorite low-budget massage parlor, which we hold dear to our heart despite sometimes feeling like we could be murdered there. Other Yelpers hope the "place burns to the ground." So we'll call it a difference of opinion.

Finally, this week's very sad Craigslist item gives that one Hemingway poem a run for its money.

*Special thanks to UV Tourist for our new, sick-ass theme song. *